Monday, April 12, 2010

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How RaRely dO yOu smOke?

There are times when people asked of me “Do you smoke?” my answer would always be a “No.” But, don’t I really?

Nowadays my answer became “rarely”. How rare? Very, very.

The first time I puffed the awful cigarette was when I was in my elementary years. That was only once. It was during one of those times when there are a lot of people in our house. I can’t remember what the occasion was but I know there was some celebration.

As a kid, my parents would shoed me to some corner, didn’t want me to disturb them to what they were doing (cooking, entertaining visitors, etc.). I was with four others of my cousins almost the same age as me. We were at the corner playing, talking and laughing … when one of us noticed the box of cigarette. The oldest of our group got one and said “let’s try it?” Well, I know it’s not allowed to us, and that our parents would get angry if they found us with that stick, but curiosity is a strong motivator, so why not? So we did, light one and passed along the stick to each one of us. I don’t think we finished that one stick though. It was awful and irritating.

I never tried it again since then, well, until now.

I used to hate cigarette, alcohol and any other vices. I set it as one of characteristics of a guy that I want as a partner … no cigarette, no alcohol, no drugs and no gambling. The first thing that I would ask a guy who would ask to court me is “Do you smoke/drink?” I wouldn’t turn them down if they do, but that would be a minus point.

But what change? What drives me to try those things I despise? The answer? I don’t know. Curiosity, maybe? The hunger for adventure? The wanting to “test or try”? Maybe one of those, or all of those. But I do smoke now, very rarely and drink occasionally.

I say very rarely because, I don’t smoke just because I want to. There are times that I think I crave to do so. Mostly I do crave to smoke whenever I am very depressed or very sad. But even if I do crave I wouldn’t do it immediately. I wouldn’t smoke if a member of a family is there to see me smoke, I don’t want them think I do smoke. I wouldn’t smoke if there are people seeing me smoke, I want to do it alone, or rather if the people around were strangers. I don’t know why, but I don’t want anybody I know, or anybody who knew me, see me puffing those awful stick.

I am aware of the dangers of smoking and drinking, that’s why I am very careful of overtaking it. I know that tobacco is the main content of cigarette, so I want to learn more about it, and how it can be dangerous or what are the benefits from it [tobacco] if there is. I want to know what is there in cigarette that people couldn’t resist, couldn’t stay away from it.

But though I am just starting to learn to smoke..I want to quit it already, too. ^_^

5 comments:

ur_gurLNxtdOor said...

well, me?...i DON'T smoke...don't even wanna try...hehe :D

melody said...

uh uh.. sayang naman at nasimulan mo ang mag-smoke. but all i can say is that as early as now you should quit.

MinnieRunner said...

I really hate smokers. I hate following smokers in busy streets. Hope they would really realize how bad it is for their health (and for everyone else too). Or more so, why not stop the manufacture of such right?

svetlana said...

@ur_gurLNxtdOor hehehe i used too..

@melody yeah..i dont like it either..so maybe i should :)

@minnie amen to that sister..dapat mas mataas tax ng mga yan para mabawasan buyer :)

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