Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Saturday, April 7, 2012

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I Love You, Goodbye


Being in-love is the greatest feeling, the greatest happiness a human being could ever feel. But being in-love doesn’t necessarily mean that a person can fall in-love with only a person, too. There are many kinds of love – friendly love, motherly love, brotherly love, etc., etc.….. -  but I do not know in what category does being in-love with a pet falls.

As a country child, I grew up with different kinds of pet  - chickens, pigs, dogs, cow, carabao, and cats, all kinds of domestic animals. I couldn’t remember how many each of them we had. But I was never fond of any of them. We ate and sell some, dogs and cats died and was replaced, but none I could remember that I ever been very fond of anyone of them.

But the greatest thing happened in my life during my college years, year 2007 by the month of May. I found my joy, my happiness and my first love. Marian – the neighbours cat – bore some kittens in the stairs of our apartment. And slowly she transferred those kittens inside our room without notice. When the large male cats start going inside our apartment just then that we notice those kittens hidden under our bed.

I took care of two kittens, naming them “Precious and Dudzki”. Precious is a girl with black and white color combination, while Dudzki is a white and orange male. I love them both, but with the knowledge that a girl cat would bore many more kittens I told Precious that if she ever get pregnant, she have to leave our apartment and go back to the owner of her mother. Surprisingly though, she did what she was told. I never returned Precious to the neighbour that owns Marian, but when Precious got pregnant she never returned to our apartment, she stayed there with Marian. Although, she sometimes visits us, she never stayed for long.


Dudzki, however, stayed with us for a long time. He was with us every time we change from apartment to apartment. I would never left him where we last live. I was so fond with him that I have let him sleep in our bed wherein he can use our pillows and blankets. He was so beautiful and so sweet. Sometimes I think he doesn’t meow, but talk. Sometimes I believe that he understands whatever I tell him. He knows my voice. A soft, single “psst” to him, he would come to me. Even if he was far, when he heard me calling, he would reply instantly with a loud “meow” as if he was saying “ coming!!” and then he would come to me.

Whatever tiredness, sadness, and stress from work I could feel, Dudzki erased them all just by coming close to me and brushing his big, beautiful body to my legs. Just by looking at me and ‘meowing’ right next to me.

But, just like everything in the world those happy moments has to end. The life a creature has an ending. On March 10, 2012, I look for Dudzki for feeding. He never showed up. There is no worry there, he as done it a few times -never coming home for a day – a cat being a cat. But when he didn’t show up the next day, I started to worry. I worry because I know that in our neighbourhood, there were people who didn’t have anything worthwhile to do but hunt and kill the cats. They sometimes throw the cats into the river.

March 12, 2012 early morning, I am already on verge of tears. This is the third day that Dudzki was not showing up. I am convinced that he is already dead. But still I want to see his body. So I asked my husband to find him. Just then, our  neighbour who happened to be my husbands’ aunt, came and told us to check on the next door, our godfathers’ house. She said that this neighbour found a large, white and orange cat. I am already in tears. There is no doubt, that is my baby.

The saddest part of this event is that we are a minute late. When my husband came into the neighbours house there is no more Dudzki. They already throw his body to the river because it is already smelling bad.
How I wish I found and saw his body for the last time. And be able to give him a decent burial for a cat. 

I have cried for days and days, remembering him. It's been a month now, I could still remember him, his soft footsteps, his loud meow, his hair, his teeth, the way he slowly opens our bedroom door, the way he jump with a loud thud...

His last pic few days before he dies...
What else I can't remember? Nothing to say, but, Baby... I love you... Goodbye..









:(((

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

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free condom..free..it's free :D

It was so early in the morning when i first heard it in the taxi's A.M. band radio. I couldn't believe it at first. I thought it was just a prank, a joke. So I search for it in the internet site and guess what???

It's true!!!

DOH has given free condom last February 14 at the DAngwa Flower Market, the hearts day! Huuwwat????!!!

My reaction was shocked! Really, the Department of Health see Valentines day as a day of SEX?? Maybe people do forget the real meaning of LOVE. Although I admit that the word LOVE this days always carry the word "SEX". To prove love you have to have sex with that person..It's gross and it's not good. Not healthy..But I couldn't really believe that DOH too would consider such thought.

The church do condemn what the DOH has done. It is immoral and vulgar. The bishops said giving customers free condoms for every purchase of flowers would only promote sexual promiscuity especially among young people. It is true..where do you used condom?? do you use it as medicine?? or for food?? Absolutely Not!

Archbishop Emeritus Oscar Cruz said and I quote: "It is vulgar, it is lewd, it is gross. To what extend would they entice young people to be promiscuous? How far are they willing to go in promoting illegitimate carnal relations?"

Dr. Ed Janairo the head of the DOH’s National Center for Disease Prevention and Control, said the condom-giving campaign dubbed “Be My Valentine, Ingat Lagi” was meant to raise awareness for HIV-AIDS prevention and not for family planning. --My God, secretary, what do you think of the people around you?? You're making us for a fool!! Some promiscuous people might like what you have done, or maybe the married couple who wants to make love without creating children may like what you did, But most people might not!!

It is outrageous, it is condemning!! I hope we could still remember the true meaning of love and what we really are celebrating in the day of St. Valentine..*_*

Sunday, February 14, 2010

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bitterSweeT LoVe

Have you ever been inlove? Ha! The joy of being inlove.*_* I would always like to be inlove. I would never tire of loving. It makes my life wonderful and complete. It makes life normal, natural! The adventure and the life.!

When did I first fall-in-love? I am not sure.. But I am sure when I first shed tears for the one I love.
Well, that was years, i mean really years, ago and I was still then in the first level of college years.
That was maybe the best day of my college years. It was a good relationship. I was so inspired in whatever I do. I tried my best in my subjects. Though people around me said that having a boyfriend while studying is not good. It would only destroy my studies. But of course I didn't listen. I am in-love and happy. I counldn't find any wrong in that. But everyone think I was not good enough for him. So what??? He chose me and I chose him to loved.
*sigh*
 
Well then, everthing didn't go on so right. Things change and the good - well, atleast I think - relationship ended the same day of our very first anniversay. *SAD*
 
I cried and cried and cried. But nobody knows that except me and God. I hide the real feelings to everybody. I tried to eat normally, act normally, when deep down in my heart I am breaking into pieces and I wanna hide and I wanna stay in one place and cry. I keep studying my lessons, although of course, most times I couln't focus. There are times when I couldn't make my exams and assignments because tears would suddenly fall without warning. And when I am to eat, I almost can't swallow, that whenever I tried to do so, the food would stay on my throat or came back and I have to throw it up. So what I did is that I wouldn't eat with company. If I have company I have to tried so hard to atleast eat a few so that they won't notice. Being jolly and almost always smiling is my way of hiding what's really I'm feeling. I stayed close to my friends, always finding something to laugh about and always keeping myself busy. I know I have been successful in hiding my broken heart, but I can see the effect of hurting in my appearance. I became so thin, thinner than I used to be. And for the first few months I lost interest in my studies.

But then thank God, one day I remembered my future. What will become of it. It wasn't him I am destroying if I don't study or if I don't eat. So then, I started to think that 'love won't destroy me'. That I have no reason to destroy myself, no reason to hurt myself. I start to focus again to my studies, and always thinking that he's not gonna destroy my future. He hurt me yes, but he cannot destroy me. That's my spirit during those times and I thank God that He helped me recognize that just in time.

It was years ago, but I can still remember the joy of being in-love, and of course the pain. But those pain wouldn't stop me from loving [again]. I had learned to stand again after a fall and I believe that those experiences helped me improve myself and toughen me up. I am in relationship again, and I am in-love. But atleast I am much more mature and much more ready for everything, though of course I wouldn't want those things to happen again. :) I want to stay in-love and be happy, besides it's valentines and it's the month of loving. Cupid is around and busy. And hoping I'm not hindering his tasks. :)

So this month of love, may everybody stay in-love and feel the joy it brings.!!

HAPPY VALENTINES EVERYONE. ^_^ happy hearts day..be happy and be blessed!!